When It’s Too Much: My Burdens (Week Four)
Do you feel like you are sinking? Like the water is pulling you in and you are about to let go? This may be how Peter felt when he let go of faith while walking on water. Even being alive is a miracle that we live in each day. Having the courage and endurance to stay alive is even harder—because life is heavy. We all walk around in life carrying burdens. These burdens are painful and scary. We often forget that we can get some relief if we address them with intention, and so our shoulders get awfully heavy as we carry them around and our bodies break in that effort.
Our burdens can come in the form of finances, relationship issues, mental health or medical problems, crisis, etc. Our burdens can even stem from the burdens of our loved ones. This can create an overall feeling of defeat and hopelessness.
Did you know we are not meant to live in this life alone? The Bible tells us that we are called to live in fellowship with one other. God gave us people to help fulfill the needs he wants us to ask for. As we’ve learned in this course, our emotions are built-in prompts which allow us to truly abide—to take our needs to God immediately as they arise. Remember though, other people’s burdens are not our responsibility, but our prompt to ask how we can help and to pray.
“We could say that we were trained to be responsible for other people’s emotions so that we can feel loved…but allowing other people’s behavior to control our feelings will keep us trapped. “- Linda Tonnesen
We will learn more in future weeks about the tendency we have to hold other people’s burdens and to avoid our own. Each of us should carry our own and we can all walk alongside each other in the process! And we must share them with each other —in emotionally safe relationships.
For our own pains, like heartbreak, financial loss, worry, crisis, shame, and guilt, abiding is key here as we should first ask God for the needs of our five feelings (prompted by our soul), He will provide and give us wisdom on how to get those burdens addressed.
And remember the needs of our feelings:
Sad needs comfort.
Glad needs to be shared.
Mad needs to vent and have change.
Shame needs validation.
Scared needs safety.
God can provide all of these needs, even when humans fail to. But often He sends people in our life to manifest His power to care for us. The Holy Spirit is here to guide the whole process. This is why we must tap into Him FIRST when we are burdened.
Not our spouse. Not our best friend. Not social media. Not Google.
But Him.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
God tells us to cast our anxieties on him, regularly (1 Peter 5:7). This is like tossing a ball up a hill. While eventually, they may roll back down the hill, the act of tossing them up the hill is our abiding. When he receives our anxieties, he will absorb their weight and they will often return to us—casting is to toss out and it will return. When we wash these burdens through the experience of casting them to God, we get information—understanding and overall peace.
Having burdens to hold is simply a byproduct of being a human living in an imperfect world. We can use our burdens as information and with lifelines to help us bear the burden without anxiety. We are to surrender the “problem piece” to Him (i.e. rolling the ball up the hill) and only hold the actions he tells us to move forward with.
A key factor in learning how to open up and share your burdens is to recognize who is a safe person to share with and how to be safe for others as well. You will learn tips about this next week, but remember that not all people are safe for sharing your pain with. And some are great candidates and sitting right in front of you! Make a choice—find a place to walk in fellowship with others you can trust.
As a reminder, you can:
ask for comfort (when sad),
strategize and ask for change and set boundaries (when mad),
find connection by opening up (sharing when glad),
get safety in place (when scared),
receive validation and acceptance from Him and others (when in shame).
Here are some scriptures for you to remember:
“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”- Galatians 6:2
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”- 2 Corinthians 4:8, 16-18
“Oh Lord, don't hold back your tender mercies from me. My only hope is in your love and faithfulness. Otherwise I perish for problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile, my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with e and I am ashamed to look up. My heart quails within me. Be pleased to save me, LORD; come quickly, LORD, to help me. May all who want to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace. May those who say to me, ‘Aha! Aha!’ be appalled at their own shame. But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, ‘The LORD is great’!”- Psalms 40:11-117
[Cry out to Him. David abided by calling on God when He was desperate with problems piled higher than his head. God will transform your story to a testimony if you let Him get His hands on it. bringing this burden to a safe person can also help you to surrender it—not as to try to fix it.]
“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”- Ephesians 4:26
[We learned about this in the Anger article and the week two lesson on the Emotional Navigation System. Anger is an indicator that tells us we are stuck or being violated. We must acknowledge and process it with venting and making a decision towards change. God warns us of what will happen if we don’t. Anger leads to resentment, then hate, then destruction and ultimately death. Address this burden!]
”Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”- Proverbs 18:1
[Do not carry your burdens alone!]
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. “- Philippians 2:3-4
“But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased...Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”- 1 Corinthians 12:18-27
[We are all here unique in each our own design, and we need each other!]
“What bliss you experience when your heart is pure! For then your eyes will open to see more and more of God”.- Matthew 5:8
[Confession and laying down our burdens allows us to see God’s provision and presence all around us.]
”But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”- 1 Corinthians 15:57-58
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”- Matthew 11:28-30
“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.” -Luke 12:2&3
“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” -2 Corinthians 11:30
“To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—”-Jude 1:24
“For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him in our dealing with you.”-2 Corinthians 13:4
Jessica Jeans, edited by Lauren Preusz
Content inspired by Linda Tonnesen, author of Growth Group Curriculums