Bringing All of Me Into The Light: Vulnerability (Week Five)
You will feel trapped without true connection if you keep secrets and hide parts of you.
Vulnerability can be defined as having your guard down or being in an unprotected state which leaves one open for physical or emotional attack.
It’s like being naked. Adam and Eve first felt shame when they realized they were exposed. Babies don’t seem to care about releasing every thought and bodily fluid their body desires. Where did we lose this? It starts when the ego develops around age two—when a human has to “individuate” and decide they are no longer “one” with mommy. It is an important, God given part of development, which also allows us to realize when we cause pain to others and when we have done something wrong.
When we experience shame and guilt, we often develop a script in our mind around certain stories which tell us that parts of us (and our story) are not acceptable. Let me just drop you a little piece of important truth: BY GOD’S GRACE WE ARE ALL WORTHY OF LOVE. There is nothing you can do to change your value, period!
That being said, you must remember that you cannot heal or live in freedom if you don’t bring your pain to the surface. This includes your shame, your guilt, your fear, your sadness and your anger. All the uncomfortable feelings and secrets we hold cannot resolve until we process them. That requires some connection with God and most often we need a human to hear it.
It is not always a confession we are revealing, but often a recurring memory or behavior that we cannot shake. It can be a story about you big or small—and it will fester and grow if we don’t bring attention to it. That is Satan’s SINGLE attack. To work lies into our mind around those areas we are not processing with intention.
When you share with someone, know that it is your responsibility to keep yourself safe. You can do this by picking at least one designated person in your life to open up to on a regular basis. Linda Tonnesen recommends that this person must have these three traits:
Empathy- They feel your pain with you and do not attempt to fix it
Non-Judgemental - They believe they are just as “bad” as you
Vulnerability- They are in touch with their shame and fears also
Here are some scriptures for you to remember:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”- Matthew 11:28-30
We should first turn to the Lord with our pains and heavy burdens. Do not be surprised if opportunities arrive soon after to allow you to share your pain with a human. That is His gift to us, as stated here:
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin.” -1 John 1:7
“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”- 1 Corinthians 12:27
Whatever is brewing in you, it wants to come out—in a safe place. It will surface whether its with intention or through “leakage”. Insecurities and excessive worry, depression and chronic issues in the physical body exist when we carry part of you behind a wall. Remember, being fully exposed (in a few select relationships) will allow you to have deep connection and intimacy—and connection feels like love. You were designed for it! You won’t function well without this deep level of connection in your life.
“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.” -Luke 12:2
Get comfortable with your shameful stories. They will not be soaked in shame any longer. The more authentic you can be, the greater amount of freedom you will have in your step as you walk through a world of lies and superficial (society approved) striving. I know that the most attractive people in my life are REAL and show their weakness with confidence. Intimacy is to be known FULLY and accepted still.
“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” -2 Corinthians 11:30
Remember, if God makes your status “righteous” (right-standing), then why be concerned with the judgements of man (Galatians 1:10). God pardons you from every thought, feeling and behavior when you bring it to the light. Confession is not for Him folks. It is an act of getting real with God so you don’t accidentally get pulled away from Him while you put your efforts in hiding secrets. That builds a wall between you and Him.
“To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—”-Jude 1:24
The ultimate act of vulnerability is Christ on the cross. He had the power to crush the Earth, yet he became naked and bruised in His flesh—beaten and crucified by His own creation, to show us intimacy. THAT is where true connection begins as indicated at the end of this verse.
“For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him in our dealing with you.”-2 Corinthians 13:4
There is nothing you can say or do to be rejected by God when you have Him in your heart and you confess. Contrary to what anyone says, this is Biblical. This models for us how to live with one another. We are NOT GOOD because of our actions—we never will be. But solely for our status of being worthy of love.
That’s all we need.