Gratitude PART TWO: How to Find Thanks in our Heart
By Jessica Jeans
Edited and contributions by Linda Tonnesen
Frankly, I always feel conflicted when I hear someone tell me about their hardship and then end their story saying, “I know I just need to be grateful.”
Avoiding the emotions that go with heartache and making ourself try to be grateful doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t know God that way.
As a recovering legalist, I’ve been learning that He doesn’t need anything from me. His commands are FOR me. When He says to be grateful and praise Him during my trials, I have tried to obey Him and make myself mumble the words, “I praise you for this hardship, God. Thank you.”
I wanted to do “right” so that I could feel I had some control of my outcome, or at least I could believe God was happy with me since I am praising him when I don’t feel like it. But in examining my motives, I realized He doesn’t need my praise or gratitude. I do.
I think it grieves Him to see me trying so hard to obey Him, but not recognizing His gift to me. But when I choose to give praise when I don’t really see anything to be feel grateful for, I notice that it helps me turn my focus on what matters.
I find that when I praise Him, I begin to think outside of my problem for a moment. I can see what He sees: the bigger picture.
His love for us is whole and complete. It superceeds all understanding and I continually find that I don’t need to control my situation. (Nor can I control most things.)
When I really breathe that in, I feel surrendered, and it becomes easier to trust Him to do what He’s always done. No matter our situation, God will work it out. Looking back I can see that He has and He will.
Gratitude is a gift, which disentangles us from our fear and doubt.
We don’t always want to find gratitude when we feel fear, but we can ask God to shift our will in order to truly feel it. Sometimes we have to open our mouth and say “thank you” before we begin to feel the shift. But the benefit He intended will always come. Peace and surrender.
Gratitude is not human nature. It is a gift from God alone.
How to find gratitude?
Try asking for it.
Here are other ways to find it:
Document your testimony of His provision
Speak what is good-outloud
Hold on to your hope with your prayers
Remember His promises
Counting our blessings reminds us— He’s never left our side.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful. I know that full well.” -Ps 139
Why does God command us to worship Him? It’s like a father telling a child not to look down while he is balancing on a tree branch. Keep your eyes looking up so you can balance and focus on what’s to come (albeit, its the unknown, but He’s promised its gunna’ be good)!
We should allow feelings to surface and talk about hardships with fellowship…but the process of finding gratitude is another layer in the midst of authentic expression.
While I’m sighing about my hard morning, feeling mad, sad, guilty…I can tell God I trust Him, or that I want to. I can thank Him that He can shift my heart and my situation.
When we do express hardship, we can do it with intention to move through it, and not remain stuck with poor reactions—we can abide. Focus on the feelings that come when we get our needs met. Let God lead you to your needs.
Sad needs comfort. Scared needs safety. Shame needs validation. Guilt needs forgiveness. Mad needs to vent and get change.
Glad needs to be shared. If you take happiness, which is expectations that are met and exceeded, and you have nowhere to put it, you will feel hopeless and depressed. We all need connection. Connection that is emotionally safe for us.
If you can’t connect with people in your family, jump in your car and put on some worship. God will meet you at the other end of that connection loop…whether you are crying out for help, venting to Him, praising Him for who He is or thanking Him for what He has done.
More on feelings in “Giving Thanks pt 3: Authentic Expression”
Click the song title below to practice this concept right now.
Acknowledge your pain, THEN LOOK UP!
