We all handle feelings differently. Some avoid, some sit in it with contentment. Some have aversion to high emotion, some articulate it poorly. Others have trouble connecting with them.

We all have feelings however. Our beliefs about life drive our feelings. If we acknowledge the emotion, we have power over the response.

If you believe there is no hope, your going to be depressed with low motivation. If you believe there are options and a way towards change, you’ll use your anger and power to get unstuck—motivation, voila!

Our feelings drive us to get needs met. But if we are not informed about them, they will drive our will too.

We are in charge. Reading our beliefs and emotions simply tell us about the position of our heart and the pain inside. We have the final say. This work allows us to have power over our emotions and the reactions we take.

But why do we have to talk about it?

Feelings tell us what is happening inside of us. They drive us if we don’t acknowledge their origin and the dialogue that followed when they come on strong. Community allows us to bring these matters into the light, and ot be supported as we process what has caused us to be stuck.

Here’s how God looks at the heart:

According to Proverbs 2:10, it's the part of the mind that knows, feels, remembers, among other things. It's where we begin, and continue to evolve from. It’s our center. Our pureness. Our feelings and will derive ultimately from this place because it is the purest, most deepest part of. The part which receives support, safety and growth from herself and the world.

“Wisdom will enter your heart, And knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.” (Proverbs 19:21). Proverbs 24:14 says, “My soul knows it well.” Psalm 13:2 speaks of bearing concern in the soul. Lamentations 3:20 says, “My soul remembers them well”.

In this sense the mind receives wisdom. It takes pleasure. It knows. It bear’s concern. It remembers. It decides. It refuses.

The Body, Feelings and Vulnerability

Feelings are part of the body’s response to it’s sensations. What the body sees, feels, touches, tastes and hears causes the mind to apply thought and implement an emotional reaction, based on personal beliefs, but emotions represent more than just the feelings. It’s a part of us that gets vulnerable.

“Vulnerability can be defined as having your guard down or being in an unprotected state which leaves one open for physical or emotional attack.” -Linda Tonnesen

When we experience shame and guilt, in regards to a relationship dilemma. We often develop a message in our mind around certain stories which tell us that parts of us (and our story) are not acceptable.

BY GOD’S GRACE WE ARE ALL WORTHY OF LOVE. There is nothing you can do to change your value, period!

Acknowledging our Pain and Hurt

So, soul work involves bringing the dark past of us into the light. This often requires relying on God or others. That process results in connection. Connection is what we were created for and brings the greatest joy and peace.

“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”- Galatians 6:2

Acknowledging our pain helps us to shine light on it and break free. Bringing it into the light helps us to find that we are still acceptable. “If we truly take time to notice our emotions, which flow through our bodies every four minutes, [they will guide us. When we meet them, we will find] we will take less ‘wrong turns’ and we won’t get stuck”. -Linda T.

For example, fight or flight helps us to step back from a situation, and recognize the need for strategy and alertness. It helps us to detach in a healthy way. The problem is when we sense danger due to lies— A false alarm. This is Anxiety. Its inspired by distorted beliefs planted by our greatest adversary.

Our hurts (grief, anger, fear and shame) are a result of what happens in our relationships. With self, with others and with God. Our most basic need in life is connection. We fail to face healing in relationships when we avoid looking at our pain.

For example, anger needs to vent and get change. It is here to protect. To set boundaries and take victory. Healthy anger seeks to call out truth with tender, yet firm, love.

Once we sort out what we learned wrong about ourselves from people (prayer, reflection, venting in a safe place)—it helps us sort out what we learned wrong about our identity.

For example, pure mad is not bad. Our mad signifies violation or stuckness. It’s power seeking change. When we avoid it (because we have only seen it ugly) then we replay what we feared on accident in light of a safe, typical social interaction. We avoid anger if it is something we view as bad. Yet intentional anger brings clarity and movement in our lives. Try it. It’s simple, “No”. Or “I’m mad because…” Anger is for you, not for others. In Job 7:11, Job expresses his pain and “stuckness” to God: “Let me be free to express my anguish. Let me be free to speak out of the bitterness of my soul.” [Vent]

“If we think we are experiencing righteous anger, we should exemplify redemptive acts.” - Hope Bolinger.

Conclusion

As it turns out, we have been given all that we need in order to recognize that we have unmet spiritual needs. Emotions indicate to us how to get there. With these signals, we can abide in the Lord, cry out to Him, tell him of your fears, ask for change. Then clarity comes. The stuck emotion will dissipate, and peace surfaces again.

According to Matthew 5:8, We are made content when we mourn because we will be comforted.

When we are reminded that God has our needs and even wants covered, our joy returns. But we must stop and heal when we feel pain.

Our hearts were meant to praise with joy. Joy brings us to reconnect with God originally. This is why perhaps we seek that connection from people so naturally. Gratitude has been proven to shift cells on a molecular level. We are made to look at self and then back up to God (Spirit).

Our thoughts, feelings and actions can wreak havoc in relationships if the core beliefs are based on false information. For example: “I’m being judged by others”.Old information or deceitful information. We fall into lies and it becomes a stronghold.

If we continue to look deep inside, we are seeing the truth about each situation and learning lies that are in the way…getting unstuck. This releases strongholds.

Through “soul work”, we aim to understand and reposition the status of our mind, will and emotions. To point us toward a spiritual force that can set us straight. To bring balance. To root us by the stream (Col 2:7) of support, safety and love.

Why Talk about How I Feel? It Hurts