What has changed about our culture since Depression and Anxiety have become more notable? Not just the cell phones. What about concrete walls, less sun, less human touch, less passing of village locals in the fields, and less shared land?

Tribal ways of life have become more rare, especially in our country. People are more alone now than ever, even though they can reach most places on earth with a touch of a button.

Now when one goes through a break up, a job loss, financial stress, medical issues, or one of the many burdens we can face in life, they must figure out how to carry it alone.

It amazes me how many people do not have community or have even experienced the safety of healthy community at all.

The worst part is that many don’t know it, and therefore their hope is not aligned with that security of knowing that they are not alone, that they are acceptable no matter what, and they are safe to come into the light—fully with who they are.

When you are restricted to a certain type of social exposure and you lack family-like support, you will struggle to have real fulfillment and security in life. Humans need love. We thrive on love that is safe, validating, empathetic, accepting and vulnerable.

I’m learning to accept this important truth. While I can do great things in life, I can’t do much on my own. But I can do a LOT with the support of my Higher Power (who I call God), and the people He literally gifted me to get the job done. For me, there is no other way I’ll ever get to where I want to be.

I know this truth, and my whole life will be built around it.

I have walked through many stages of life with good community—sisters who really get me and accept me—and many stages without it. The times I fall out are when I forget the truth.

I can have love. I am enough. I can love others. I can trust others. I can protect myself. These are truths I want to operate in.

There is a liar out there who wants you to believe you cannot have connection. That you don’t deserve it. That you will never be understood fully. That you are not good enough. I have found when I step out of battle, and let these thoughts run free reign in my head, they always win.

Walking in truth requires choosing your truth. If you choose to believe that you are worth loving, than you must choose to accept love and walk confidently in the fact that you are loved.

How does life look when I don’t operate in the belief that “I’m loved” and “enough”? For me personally, it looks pathetic; like a chicken running around with its head cut off. Numb and chaotic at the same time. For others, it looks like isolation, chronic stress problems and conditions, poor self-care and even neglect. For some, it feels like a slow death to be alive.

It is soul shifting to find out the knowledge of what is true. We find safety, connection, peace, comfort, validation, power, and many other needs met when we have a paradigm that aligns with what is really true about our value. You just come to learn in, and to walk like it!

Support Systems

When I don’t lean into my support system, I have found that I disappear into a world of obsessive “do more” mindset and an emotional detachment from the stress I can’t manage. I take on too much to solve all the problems of myself and those around me. I’m a “go-getter”. But the problem with being a go-getter is that you often go to get too much.

Once that happens, where’s the space in my life to address the things that matter most? My greatest needs start to fall on the back burner and I get a return of chronic back pain, high stress, poor diet and decreased quality time with my family. My relationships also suffer.

I then begin to pull away and try to cope on my own, which can turn ugly quickly, and I continue digging deeper for more “things to do” to get me closer to my dreams.

Many people become isolated without commitment to connect. As a mental health counselor, social connection is a priority for me to help people improve mental and body performance. We were created to do life with others, but many of us were not taught how to find healthy connection.

I’m here to remind you that while no community is perfect, there’s plenty of safe spaces to get authentic love and fellowship, especially if you know how to keep yourself safe ;).

“For as many as have not seen my face in the flesh; that their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding… - Colossians 2:2”

This entire chapter talks about being plugged into a stream of life. How people who believe in God can lose hope even there, because we can’t see Him in the flesh. Wherever your heart believes, remember that what you see is not always the whole picture. We were meant to live amongst others to get comfort, love, and FULL ASSURANCE of understanding just. how. loved. we. are…

This is the work done at Women Revealed, and it should be the golden standard for any kind of community you allow near your heart.

I just picture thousands of souls today wishing they could have someone understand them. I was 18 on my first weekend at Women Revealed back in 2005! I KNOW the power of finding connection this way. Also the need to find a support system within my own city and friendships. Now in this crisis season, I’m diving in deep to my connective circle. I know I need it to stay ahead of the liar out there.

Problem:

I talk to many people a week in my field, who are struggling to get where they want to go in life and these people often seem to have no community. We, ladies, are not meant to walk in this life alone. We are only as good as the strength we install around us. Are you catching this?

This includes leaning on God, and the people He gave you.

There are many barriers that can find themselves between you and your “people”. Here’s a few to help you see that you relate:

schedule
access
awareness of where to go
finances to be involved
fear of opening up to others’ judgment
trouble with self-worth and feeling undeserving
fear of getting hurt or being vulnerable

Solution:

What if the solution was just to rest in sufficiency? To dare to bond and to seek safe connection? To bask in support and love; and to walk with others who are taking their time “getting it all done” also? What if we could journey at just “the right” pace by waiting for guidance, a door to open, or for the timing to be right? If I have community, I can be held in that space.

Your story is meant to be brought into the light. Those memories and the experiences that taught your heart lies about yourself and the world want to come out. You can find the freedom to let these stories and pains surface, when you finally find the right place to let it out.

You need community.

With community, you are going to realize that you are not alone in your pain, your fear or your trial. Other people have crisis too, and while it may present differently, the margin of pain is incredibly similar.

If you haven’t had the opportunity, you’ll just have to trust me. Women Revealed has provided this for me, and their Gold Groups and weekend experiences have helped to maintain it.

Will you take the chance? Will you dare to step outside your comfort zone in order to make community a part of your life?

I hope you’ll join me.

— Jessica Jeans, Women Revealed Ambassador

Community. Do you have it?